Teacher gifting and all it involves...

   It's that time of the year again.  All over the U.S. schools are letting out for the summer break. Moms across the land are either jumping for joy at the thought of no more early mornings, lunchboxes to pack, or notes to write to teachers, or they are of the other opinion and dreading having to deal with their kids 24hrs a day for a whole summer. I am of the first opinion. I long for summer when my kids are mine again and dread the first day of school as if it were the day they were leaving home never to return again.
   There's only one thing about the end of school that I don't care for...teacher gifts!  It's not that I don't want to show my appreciation to my children's teachers. It's the struggle with myself and my horrible gift giving rituals that I wish I could avoid. What is my gift giving ritual you are asking yourself? Well, I am a very self conscious person who can make any situation an anxiety packed torture session.  I usually shop for hours (or days) what ever time allows and put several things in my basket then push the basket around the store until I have worked up an intense case of diarrhea from worrying myself sick about whether these gifts are good enough, or cost enough, or cost too little. Once I have officially run out of time and can't possibly make one more trip to the store bathroom without causing  the store staff to become incredibly suspicious of possible shop lifting, I empty my basket completely and leave the store empty handed. Then, I repeat the process again the following day. I do this until I am forced, due to time and pressure from the kids wanting their teachers gift, to go ahead and purchase something (usually the first thing I looked at!) Then I wait feverishly by the door for the kids to get home and pepper them with questions about whether the teacher liked the gift. Did she look excited? Did she give you a hug? What did she do with the gift after she opened it, immediately try to find a safe place to set it or show it off to other people or did she shove it back in the bag and throw it behind her desk? Then of course those questions are followed with questions regarding the other gifts she received so that I can get a good idea of where my gift choice fell on the scale. Based on the answers received I am able to finally have peace about my gift choices or spend the rest of the evening having a lengthy discussion with myself about why I didn't go with the gift card to Barnes and Noble. Ultimately I will soothe myself with the fact that no matter what they thought of the gift I don't have to face them again because I make sure the gift doesn't go to school until the last day of school so that there is no chance of having to interact with them again any time soon!  It's always been stressful on me as well as the kids as you can see.
   The game is changing now that the kids are getting older. Zach is too old for teacher gifts and would probably chunk a teacher gift in the woods on his way to class before carrying one into a class in front of all his friends. No problem, one down, two more to go! Emily is finishing up her first year in middle school and has multiple teachers. Fortunately for me, most of them didn't make her list to receive a gift. Only her home room teacher made that list this year. So, I began the ritual...
   First thing I try to do is find out if there is a special interest by the teacher. It is apparent very quickly that while Emily really likes her teacher she knows NOTHING about her! I said, "Emily does she like chocolate, or talk about a specific hobby, or does she maybe like to read?"  Emily looks over at me with that "are you serious?" look on her face and says, "she's my reading teacher mom. I'm almost positive she likes to read!" I can't help but crack up! After a very strained and tedious interview session with Emily who is half participating and providing way to many I don't knows, I am able to finally figure out that her teacher likes coffee, a lot. Excellent! One personalized coffee mug and coffee basket for the reading teacher...done! I can't help looking over at Emily, who by now is probably  deep into thought about Justin Beiber or what she wants for a snack and envy the fact that while she wants to give a gift to this teacher she isn't the least bit concerned about that gift at all!

   With Emily's teacher gift settled I can move on to Nathans. Nathan has finished out the year with a long term substitute. It has been a blessing in disguise. His actual teacher ended her year early with a new baby. There was no love loss between us, as I felt she was cold and had no genuine care for teaching. Her gift was easy, a beautiful hand made diaper bag. I love to make diaper bags and despite the trouble she had brought my precious Nathan, I made her one anyhow.

The diaper bag!

    

   The replacement, his substitute, has been AMAZING!!  She has such a genuine love for the kids and it is so apparent that she actually wants to make each day pleasant and positive. She has transformed first grade for Nathan. I am actually excited about looking for something special to give her to show our appreciation. So, I will put together a special gift basket with things for her. I wish I had time to make her a tote bag. She will be finishing up her teaching degree this coming fall. I know each child that graces her classroom will be blessed for having been in there. How lucky they will be to have her for an entire year!
    I have picked the mind of my school teacher sister to find out what kinds of gifts they are always glad to receive and with my usual Google research, compiled a list of do's  & don't s when it comes to teacher gifts. Maybe this will help you in the years to come.

Please  DON'T give

• candles
• lotions
• bath items
• holiday towels
• homemade foods
• perfume
• nicknacks
• plastic flowers

*These are never good ideas due to possible allergies. You also have no idea what people like when it comes to something they are going to have to smell all day!  Homemade food can be a very kind gesture, but a lot of schools have rules about excepting such items. Due to food allergies or dietary needs and things like that.

DO give

• gift certificates to restaurants
• gift certificates for massages
• small themed gift baskets 
• plants
• personalized cups or coffee mugs with lids 
• things for the classroom
• gift certificates to Scholastics

* Teachers are exhausted and ready to crash by the end of the year. Especially with all the testing and end of the year reports due. A gift certificate to eat somewhere gives them a chance to take a break from cooking. A message helps them unwind and start off their summer relaxed. Themed gift baskets can be great! Make one up filled with your teachers favorite drinks and snacks. It will be great for using those final days at school while they clean and organize their rooms for summer and finish filing all their reports. Make it a travel theme with a United States map, travel snacks, a neck pillow, and a gift card to a fast food place, teachers are notorious summer travelers. You could also make a classroom basket. Teachers always need supplies especially at the end of the year when everything is depleted or worn out. They also don't get to leave the classroom very often throughout the day so start this gift basket with a personalized insulated beverage holder for cold or hot drinks and  then fill it with office supplies like a new pair of scissors, post it notes, or personalized stationary (teachers write a lot of notes), thank you notes, and finish it off with some nice pens.

Nathans teachers basket

Emily's teachers basket

   Try to make these gifts simple and useful. The teachers I spoke to said their favorite gifts are the little handmade thank you cards and "I'll miss you" cards that their students make them as well as the more practical gifts. As a general rule of thumb, most teacher gifts can be purchased between $5-20. You need proof? One of my sisters favorite gifts was a simple insulated cup. Super expensive gifts are over the top and tend to make teachers as well as other parents uncomfortable. When you are carrying a gift basket in full of sweet candies and topped with an even sweeter card, the last thing you want to walk in on is the teacher receiving airline tickets!! (true story!) If you are super close with or have a personal friendship with your child's teacher and are set on giving them one of those over the top gifts I mentioned earlier, then plan to give your outrageous gift after school so that the other kids (and parents) don't have to feel awkward. Remember, there will always be children and parents in your child's class that wish they could give a gift but are financially unable to do so. Respect those families.
   I plan on trying to take my own advice this year and leave the stress at home when I go shopping for my teacher gifts. I will choose something simple that says thank you and you have been a blessing. I might actually make it through the gift giving this year without the Pepto Bismol!

Have a fantastic summer everyone!!