Doctor, Doctor...

   With three kids there are times when I feel like the pediatricians office should just give me my own personal exam room to decorate and make it more like home. Then we could just stay and eliminate the whole needless leaving and having to come back part. My husband chooses to believe that the doctor is part of a conspiracy plan to see how many times they can make us come back and get a copay out of us before they have to give us the "real" answers. I on the other hand, realize that although my three kids  wouldn't share a bag of M&M's without all out war first, they freely share their germs.
   Lately it seems that our kids have decided to branch out and explore the unexplained illnesses for a change. Instead of bringing home the normal strep virus from school or the common cold, they are getting creative. Let me break it down for you...

   Emily: Breaks out in a massive, head to toe rash of hives. Trip to the doctor a must!
 Dr. visit 1.  Yes you're right, mom, it's hives. Give her Allegra once a day to help with itching.        Probably never know what caused the outbreak.  $20 copay to confirm what WebMD had already diagnosed.
Dr. visit 2.  Six weeks later and still breaking out. Because it's been more than a month we are moving her up to "Chronic Hives" which just basically means it's been going on for more than a month. Add Zantac twice a day. It contains a different histamine blocking agent. $20 copay for antacid medicine...??
Dr. visit 3.  It's been three months and she is still breaking out really bad. Starts breaking out hours before next dose is due. Slew of blood test: all normal; just keep doing what you're doing and we'll keep an eye on it. $20 copay for expensive tests that gave us no answers.
Continues to break out and no end in sight. Great work doctors.

Zach: comes home after a weekend at a friends house and a few days later says he's breaking out in bumps. They look like ant bites, but different (if that makes sense). Has them on arms, hands, legs... don't itch or hurt. Both friends he was with all weekend have similar sores. The only possible explanation is a game of football played on the grass at the city park. Maybe some type of bug bite. I don't know for sure, but it's weird and gross!
Applied antibiotic ointment and they cleared up. Unexplained.

Nathan: Suffers from major allergies with little relief from any medications. Started showing signs of  a sinus infection. Wonderfully normal, thank you!! Take him to the doctor. Had to see a different doctor in the clinic than our usual and did not like her!!! Took him to the bathroom while waiting for Dr. Whirlwind (a nickname I gave her cause she blew in and blew out of the room) and discover he is broke out in a terrible rash all over his chest, back, legs, and unmentionable areas! No way!! Show Dr. No Bedside Manners the rash and she just waves a hand at it and says it looks like a reaction to something. Gee, you think?
   So, we were a sight to see. I can only imagine what the people in the waiting room must have been thinking. One has sores all over him, Emily has red whelps all over her face and arms because she needs her next does of  antacid medicine?, and Nathan looks like he's about to pass out from heat stroke because of the flaming red rash that has now spread to his face! I suddenly felt like everyone was looking at me and wondering what my house looked like or if I even made them bath regularly. Judgement was spreading more wildly that day in the pediatricians office than the germs on the waiting room toys.
    I was just wishing I had a flyer to hand out that explained everything. 'Good afternoon fellow parent. While it appears that my children are being raised in a filthy environment and are contagious with some form of disgusting disease, I assure you it couldn't be further from the truth. I am OCD and my house is immaculate. I force my kids to bath EVERYDAY, even my teenage son who would prefer to live in his own filth. I keep their nails clipped, hair clean, and they never miss a check up. So please have mercy on me. I'm a good mother!!!' Because, yes, I do really care what other people think. I try hard not to, but I'm weak! I want people to think good things about me.
I want them to like me and think my kids are great and not disgusting, disease wrought children.
   So, next time you are sitting in the doctors office with your child and you see another mother in the waiting area shielding her rash covered child from prying eyes, don't judge her because her child looks creepy. She may have a flyer explaining the whole weird and gross story in her head as well. Or, better yet, remember...

IT COULD BE YOU NEXT TIME!! LOL!!